A gift to each other

This last year has been so hard at times for me. It’s been filled with many new hurdles, some really big days, many new scary diagnosis, tons of doctors, therapist and maybe I have even lost a little of myself along the way. I miss my head phones and my running shoes so much some days, I miss my husband sometimes when life is so crazy that finding silent time alone seems nearly impossible. I often need to go get ‘milk’ three minutes after Ben gets home from work. For some reason the four walls around any grocery store can bring me such serenity and peace. Funny I know, but for some reasons, us moms can recharge a tired soul with a 30 min trip to grab some random, not really needed grocery item. Being a Mother is so hard, you are raising little adults, that you really really want to grow up to be amazing adults, that do really awesome things. I want more than anything all my kids to grow up to love Jesus so much that the world can not hinder them from what He has in store. I want my boys to be men like their daddy, and my girls to be a tender yet strong world changer. I want to love Ben so much that he never questions if he is appreciated in every way, shape and form and somehow through it all have three healthy, gluten , dairy, egg and taste free meals on the table each day.
That’s a lot for a women to carry. Raise great, God loving adults, love a man completely and somehow keep the home running perfectly all while wearing heels. Now none of these things are put on me by others but I would gather most of us women carry the same strong convictions and set our bars so high we often feel like we can not measure up. What if  we all give ourself the okay, to be okay, with not always being okay. What if we are honest and say Mother hood is not always awesome, worth it, absolutely, but not always awesome. What if we stop comparing out chapter one to someone else chapter 8 or 16. What if we stop for a moment, let the 42 loads of laundry wait, the dishes pile up, let our kids leave the house in whatever crazy, mismatched stained outfit they pulled out of the bottom of the, ‘maybe it’s clean, maybe it’s dirty, pile of questionable clothes’ and enjoy the day and the looks from the others that are doing it perfect, obviously. I was asked by a person this week if I would still do it all again and my answer without question is, YES!! I wouldn’t change our home, kids, or life for any other. They are mine and I am theirs and that is a beautiful place to be. Somehow each day when I just know I am failing completely, I have 8 kids that are clueless to that thought and they just see what each of us saw in our own moms as children, perfect people.
To each of you ladies that think you are failing and yet if you really look into those little eyes staring back at you, I dare you to tell me that they don’t say the complete opposite of that, because they do. You are doing so much better than you think and your kids hugs, cards, smiles, burnt breakfast in bed or simple cuddles are proof of that today! Happy Mother’s Day to all of you! Thanks for walking this road before, with and after me. You guys are awesome.

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